happy rocktober

8am....the morning went well. the call from the asst. principal got everyone moving at semi-lightning speed. they we ON TIME!!!

10am..sitting here nervously holding the paper with the number for help with my problem. contemplating if i should call or not.
decide to call...again not the right facility for me. the woman was very nice and offered to call another place for me and get back to me. called my doctor and left a message. i am so far batting zero on this attempt for help. ahh, yes, american healthcare. *sighs* you are always told to get help for your problems and when you try its one brick wall after another. i know this from my son, who is dyslexic. i have been fighting for help for him since he was in first grade! he is now in fifth... still fighting!

11am...decide to take a nap.....

2pm...my bf is here!!! ah some fast lovin' in the afternoon. he is going to watch my sons football game with me. AND he is going to video tape it. he is so sweet.

2:45pm...pick up the kids. the game is at four so we have enough time to stop home and make some coffee to take with us as it is cold out today. cold and gloomy.

4pm...GAME TIME! wow the other team has such big players it's hard to believe they are in 5th/6th grade. and they are playing dirty. elbowing, pushing. hey guys, its FLAG football. any way our team lost but we got some great video footage.

5pm..gotta get ready for work. i have to be there at 6. leave the house at 5:28, gonna be late! arrive at work at 6:15. oooo and i received a verbal warning on lateness. the managers at this store completely suck. i have to redo the halloween candy aisle as the co manager had no clue on how to do it. you don't need 4 facing of one kind of candy. i also found 10 additional candies that weren't even out!! i spent the whole 5 hours redoing HER job. now if only i had her pay.

11:20pm...grab a few groceries and head out the door or home. my bf surprises me by being there!! its so nice to see him. *BIG HUG* we hang out for about a half-hour.

12:30...get home. amazingly everyone is sleeping so i nuke a frozen lasagna dinner, read the paper then go to bed.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

tired

i scribbled this down on the way to work yesterday.............

i'm so tired.......

*of the cold weather

*getting yelled at

*no one helping me

*no one wanting to watch the kids while i'm at work

*of being tired

*of the crying/whining before/after school

*no one sleeping through the night

*disappointing my boyfriend

*my toe hurting

*having no money

*having to be everything to everybody but not having anyone in my corner

*always being wrong

wow

wow, i forgot i had this thing. lol. anyway maybe i shall vent here. lately things have been really suckie. my bf hates me. :( he thinks i'm being a self centered bitch when all i really want is to feel special to him. everyone walks all over me but with him i always felt special and he seems tired of me. like he dosent have the time to be bothered with me anymore. i may say things that are out of line at times but i thought he could see beyond the insecurities that i have and understand where it comes from.

i was wrong.